obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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