brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize