I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize