Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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