You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize