I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize