are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize