dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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