Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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