Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize