sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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