I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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