Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
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Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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