we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
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I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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