you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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