Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm at about main and main street
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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