it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize