It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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