Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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