i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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