I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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