Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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