I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize