I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize