Everything about him screamed your future.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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