How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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