i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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