Define "chronic" masturbator.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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