We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
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Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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