Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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