i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize