hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
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this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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