I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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