Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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