WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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