He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize