went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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