Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize