Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize