I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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