so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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