dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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