i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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