This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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