the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize