Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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