Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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