He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
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In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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