im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
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You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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