I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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